To-do lists have a way of never ending.

The completion of one task is only the signal of another’s start. After weeks and weeks of round the clock activity like this, a simple day, where I don’t have to do anything but whatever I please, sounds like paradise. I just want to lie in bed all day and think about nothing. I will say. But the funny thing is, when that day of freedom finally comes, I often don’t know what to do with it.

Unless I’m on vacation in a tropical or foreign place, there is a part of me that can’t just be still.

Even now on my Spring Break, at my childhood home, I feel this need to have something to do every day. It’s quite the contradiction: I dread being busy, but I also don’t like the idea of of having nothing to do.

Time is valuable to me, and so I feel guilty if I’m not doing anything with it. Instead of relaxing when my to-do list runs out, I turn around and fill it up with stuff again. I wouldn’t call myself a workaholic, but I can be preoccupied by making sure I hit each day’s targets and goals. Continue Reading…

For those of us recovering from the sugar coma that can be Valentine’s Day, I think it’s safe to say the arrival of Friday has been made all the more sweeter.

For our third Valentine’s Day together, Alex gave me this journal he bought during our trip to Eleuthera, Bahamas. Too sweet.

I didn’t post about V-day or love yesterday because, to be honest, I knew a lot of other people would be writing about it. So I thought it would be wiser for me to stay quiet and read what others had to say. (There were plenty of posts to read.) Needless to say, I was inspired.

And so, although I apologize for prolonging the “Let’s Talk About Valentine’s Day” trend, I’m not going to be quiet anymore.

Call it a commercial holiday, but I’m thankful for Valentine’s Day. Not because I like to get gifts or a bunch of attention, but because of the message it sends.

As silly as the holiday may seem, if it reminds the world of what it means to love another and to do something special for someone, then I say we should have more days like these.

Because here’s the thing: we forget to love each other.

Life gets busy. Being thoughtful suddenly becomes something that requires too much effort. We get selfish. Often times, we just get tired, lazy, or worse, lonely. It’s hard to remember to love when we’re wrapped up in our own little worlds. Continue Reading…

Photo | Matlock-Photo’s, Creative Commons

Lauren, the 200 free relay went down today! the text message from an old coach read.

My heart sank as feelings of insignificance and sadness quietly swept over me. My teammates and I had worked years for that record. Throughout the majority of our grade school years, we devoted our lives to the sport of swimming, the electricity of competition, and the sweet joy of victory.

I’ll never forget the day we broke the record at sectional finals, my senior year. With one teammate sick and the other injured, somehow, the four of us pulled together to accomplish the incredible: to leave a mark on our pool, to show that we could be the best at something.

Now, in the shadow of the past, our achievements seem obsolete. As our names are replaced on the record board, we will become unrecognizable to the world we’ve left behind.

It hurts to be second best.

Growing up, I remember feeling this way on several occasions. I always came in second in cross country races, always scored below the top students in my class, always felt like I’d never live up to my sister’s reputation. Even today, I worry about being the best writer. Maybe you can relate.

There’s something about being the best that is self-affirming. I don’t mean this in a prideful sort of way; I mean that there is joy in knowing that our efforts have amounted to something. “Being the best,” usually indicates some sort of recognition or prize, and that can be very inspiring. It validates our efforts.

But maybe the most important aspect of the many journeys we experience in life isn’t about being the best.

Maybe it’s about the fight, about overcoming the struggle, feeling emotions, making memories, and learning lessons. What if the most important aspect was about the fact that it even happened in the first place? Continue Reading…